Safe Sex

Sex can mean different things to different people. It is usually considered some type of intimate or close contact between two individuals. The most common use of the term "having sex" refers to where a male's penis is inserted into a female's vagina. But there are other types of sexual practices. Sexual activity can occur between a male and female, between two males, between two females, and by one's self.

Vaginal sex usually means that a male's penis is inserted into a female's vagina. This can also include finger/hand-vaginal contact. This is a risky behavior without protection.

Anal sex usually means that a male's penis is inserted into someone else's anus or rectum (butt hole). This can also include finger/hand-anal contact. This is a risky behavior without protection.

Oral sex means one person places his or her mouth on another person's genitals or anus. Oral-genital sex can also be called "going down" or a "blow job". Oral-anal sex is often called "rimming". This is a risky behavior without protection.

Masturbation is sexual stimulation of yourself until orgasm (a sexual climax) is reached.

No. Love is a feeling or an emotion that is hard to describe and is expressed differently by different people. It is an attraction to another person that places their needs and desires above your own. Sex is a physical event that usually leads to at least one orgasm (sexual climax). Sex usually involves the penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth with another's body part(s) (penis, tongue, finger/hand).

Abstinence means not having sex. It is the only 100% certain way not to get a sexually transmitted disease or an unplanned pregnancy.

The decision to have sex is a very personal matter and only you can decide if now is the right time. This decision needs to be based upon your body, your emotions, and your personal values. It is not a decision that should be rushed into, made while under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or because of someone else. Just because other teens are having sex, doesn't mean it is the best choice for you. Make your own decision.

Some teens have sex so they will be accepted by others. Some teens think that having sex is a "grownup" thing to do and they want to feel more "grownup". Some teens have sex because of peer pressure. Some teens are lonely and just want to feel close to someone. Some teens find it easier to have sex than to just say no. Some teens want to experiment with their body and things that feel good. Some teens have sex to rebel against authority figures in their lives. None of these reasons are really worth the consequences that sex can bring. Think about why you want to have sex . . .

Is having sex with (you fill in the name) really what I want to do at this point in my life? How will I feel about it tomorrow? Will having sex go against my personal values? Will I have to lie about having had sex later in life? Will I feel guilty? Am I ready for the feelings that a sexual relationship will produce? Am I ready to become a parent if this relationship produces a baby? Am I prepared to take precautions to prevent sexually transmitted diseases or an unplanned pregnancy?

If you love (you fill in the name), there are lots of ways to share that love without having sex. Spending time together to do lots of activities is a great way to express your love. If you want to feel physically close, there are ways to do this without sex. Kissing, hugging, and touching each other are great ways to show your love. Just remember that these activities can lead to sex unless you draw the line. If you really love (you fill in the name), talk about where your "line" will be. Set limits together and then help each other stay within these limits.

Your decision to have sex will be one of the biggest decisions of your life. Sex is a wonderful experience when the timing and situation is right for both persons. Sex is a horrible experience when the timing and situation is not right. Think about the consequences - some of them will last for a lifetime. Some of the consequences can even be fatal. It is OK to decide that you want to wait. No one who really cares about you will ever force you to have sex before you are ready. Whatever your decision, just be sure that when you get up in the morning, you would still make the same decision!

Abstinence, or avoiding sexual contact, is your best and only 100% certain way of preventing STDs. There is really no way to have a sexual relationship with another person that does not put you at risk for STDs. Ideally you should wait to have sex until you are ready for a permanent relationship with just one person and when they are equally committed to this relationship and to only having sex with you. Even in this situation, there is a risk of STDs if you or your partner has had other sexual relationships prior to this relationship.

Using a latex condom is your first line of defense although condoms will not prevent the spread of some STDs that are spread by skin-to-skin contact such as genital warts, genital herpes, lice, etc. Use a new condom every time you have sex. Many teens are embarrassed to buy condoms, but if you are old enough to have sex, you are old enough to act responsibly. Don't let embarrassment prevent you from taking care of yourself and your partner.Think ahead and always be prepared! Use an unlubricated condom for oral sex. Males and females should both carry protection.

Have sex only with one partner who is not infected and is only having sex with you.

Talk with your partner about past sex partners and about any needle drug use. Don't have sex with someone who you think might have a STD.

Before you have sex, look closely at your partner for any signs of STD. If you see anything you are worried about, don't have sex!

In addition to condoms, use birth control foam, cream, or jelly. These kill many STD germs.

For oral - anal/vaginal/penal sex, use a barrier such as a dental dam or unlubricated condom to reduce the risk of STDs.

For finger/hand - anal/vaginal sex, use a finger cot or glove to reduce the risk of STDs.

Urinate immediately after sex - this may help remove harmful germs from the urinary tract.

Avoid using alcohol or drugs that can impair your judgment, making you more likely to engage in risky sexual behaviors.

Have a medical exam every six months if you are sexually active. Talk with your doctor and make sure that you are checked for STDs during the exam. Remember not all STDs have symptoms!

Know the symptoms of STDs. If you notice a symptom, go see a doctor.

If you have a STD, your partner must get treated. Don't have sex until your treatment is complete.

You bet! The proof is in the fact that the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) reports that 19 million new STD infections occur every year. And, even more alarming, is that nearly 50 percent of these new cases happen to young people between the ages of 15 and 24. Not only that, but the American Social Health Association (ASHA) reports that half of all new HIV infections occur in teenagers. Some STDs are curable, some are not. Having sex brings on a whole new set of emotions, but getting a STD can overwhelm you emotionally. If you suspect you have had sex with someone who has a STD, seek medical help.

Sex is not the only way to show how much you care for someone. One of the most important ways that you can show someone that you care for them is to just spend time with them. Work on a special project together, plan special events or outings, share your dreams, discuss opinions about the big things in life, hang out with friends - build memories together!

So many times, it's the little romantic things that really let someone know that you really care. Celebrate your first meeting your first date, your first kiss! Exchange hand-made coupons for a kiss, a dinner, a dance! Leave each other special notes in lockers, backpacks, or cars. Hide chocolate kisses in her purse or his backpack! Give a flower for no reason at all. Write him a song, draw her a special picture. Call her up just to say your were thinking about her ...

Be supportive of each other in the bad times as well as the good. When you share bad times the bond between you grows even stronger. Be a "safe" haven - be a fan, be supportive of dreams, really listen when she needs to talk, hold him if he needs to cry. Search for answers to problems together. Talk through misunderstandings.

• Walk barefoot together in the grass.
• Write notes on each other's backs.
• Exchange favorite jackets, jewelry, T-shirts.
• Invent silly kisses or other demonstrations of affection that only you understand.
• Snuggle on a porch swing.
• Read each other's palms.
• Massage each other's feet.
• Play on a children's playground.
• Pick a favorite song.

Just because you are crazy about each other doesn't mean that there aren't other people in your life - family, friends, classmates... It is important to maintain your relationships with other people in addition to the "love of your life"! Be sure and spend some time with your friends. This goes both ways - he needs a night with the "boys" and she needs some time with the "girls"! Respect each other's family time. Families are as diverse as individuals and you may not always understand family traditions or customs. Be sure and encourage some family time. It's also important for you to spend some quiet time with yourself to think about things and stay in touch with your heart.